building meaningful relationships

What is the purpose of building meaningful relationships when our time in life is limited? History and biology both suggest an answer: relationships are not just a tool for survival, they are one of the closest things we have to truly feeling alive.

In prehistoric times, our ancestors formed tribes to endure an unpredictable world. These early societies focused on gathering food, reproducing, and defending themselves from danger. Building such groups was difficult, especially without formal language; connections relied on gestures, sounds, drawings, and shared actions. Yet from this struggle emerged the beginnings of language, and with it the ability to communicate, cooperate, and eventually build communities and nations. As our capacity to understand one another grew, the focus of human life gradually shifted from mere survival toward connection, creativity, and shared meaning.

Language also sharpened our consciousness. We developed a sense of who we are and what we need. Over time, tribes transformed into families and friendships, and social contact became something we seek for two reasons: subconsciously, to maintain emotional and cognitive health; and consciously, to enjoy life beyond the suffering that comes with existence. When people lack social bonds, loneliness often follows and with it higher rates of illness and mortality.

Consider the extreme example of solitary confinement. A person isolated for months, with only brief interactions, usually experiences a steep decline in mental health and cognitive function. Research shows that without meaningful human contact, our ability to think clearly, regulate emotion, and stay grounded in ourselves erodes. We are social creatures down to our core.

If relationships are so essential, how do we build ones that last? In today’s hyperconnected yet fragmented world, people often shift from strangers to friends and then into a peculiar in-between state when contact fades. This can make lasting relationships seem elusive. But the process is less mysterious than it feels. Much of relationship-building happens subconsciously: the warmth or ease you feel with someone emerges over time, often requiring around 200 hours of shared interaction to develop deeply. Every conversation, digital or in person, feeds this process. Consciously, we choose who we spend time with; subconsciously, our mind decides how we feel about them.

Not every connection is meant to last forever. Some relationships are temporary companions for specific chapters of life. It is natural to feel disappointment when they fade, but they leave traces, subtle changes in personality, perspective, or emotional understanding. To call a relationship “complete” is a bittersweet thing, but it is not a failure. It is part of growing.

Family relationships, meanwhile, hold a different kind of weight. They offer stability and continuity that few other bonds can match. Family grounds us in shared history, mutual understanding, and the familiarity of people who have known us across many stages of life. If you leave home at 23, you have spent 23 years forming bonds that echo throughout adulthood. These ties often endure simply because of the immense accumulation of shared experiences and care.

Friendships, though deeply valuable, are more vulnerable to shifts in circumstances, geography, and personal growth. Studies suggest the average friendship lasts 10 to 17 years not because friendships are fragile, but because life changes us. This makes the longevity of family ties all the more striking.

To suffer less and enjoy life more, nurture the relationships that matter, family, friends, and the communities around you. They help you grow, self-reflect, stay grounded, and discover who you are. Show appreciation in small ways: a message, a call, a gesture of care. Everything fades with time, but fading is not the same as meaninglessness.

Go out and meet people. Let relationships shape you. Look back with gratitude rather than regret. In the end, memories may fade and we may be forgotten, but in the act of connecting, we leave an imprint that reaches beyond the limits of time and that, perhaps, is purpose enough.

Thank you for reading.
White Mamba